


Night Blights

by PrimarchOmegon



Category: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Night Lords, Other, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 08:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11551032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimarchOmegon/pseuds/PrimarchOmegon
Summary: What working as a servant on a Night Lords ship is like... for someone who is blind and not somewhat likedby their master, like other, more privileged slaves. Not everyone is as soft as a certain prophet and not everyone dislikes having a personal plaything at their disposal.





	Night Blights

It was dark in here, as he had heard. Dirty. But not unpleasant. Ever since he had been born, he had lived in darkness, it was comforting by now. It had a familiar feeling to it, like a loving hug from the mother he had never met, nor seen. Right after he had learned to stand and walk properly, he had been taken in by the palace, there hadn't been a corner he hadn't known inside those walls. And then it had all been torn down. He had been informed that their leader had been beheaded and he would serve another from now on. He had nodded and accepted that as a fact. That how life was. So they had rebuilt the palace and he had once again learned how to organize himself inside the now foreign rooms and hallways. Work had been quite satisfactory for him. It was what his life was about, serving, answering needs of his superiors and being of use. He had been alright when it came to forging a good armor, he had been more than sufficient with fixing things though. There was nothing he couldn't fix, at least that's what they had said back then.  
  
Now, things were different. The palace had once again been destroyed, however, he would never learn how to navigate its halls and corridors this time. Instead, he had been dragged off. Apparently, the other servants were dead, at least that had been the answer he had received upon asking. And while he had been moved by that, he also understood that it was just another change of masters for him again. It was just like the first time the palace had crumbled. Only this time, it would be a ship he'd learn to navigate through.  
  
It had felt so very uncomfortable to be carried under one's arm, but he knew that whomever carried him was not human. It didn't smell human, it didn't feel human, but it spoke with a voice he recognized as something to obey. Yet, there was something else too, an undertone of haste, need. A faint sign of desperation where none should have been. He was needed by these men and he would oblige. After all, he had been made to serve and that was what he'd continue to do, although it displeased him that he had been taken in the middle of repairing a glove. There was nothing to be remembered about his past alliances or political interests. Those changed with each new leader he followed, he had been bred to be a servant. And those didn't have a different opinion, it wasn't what they were good at either.  
  
And thinking of this, in the cold embrace of this chamber he had worked and lived in for a month now, he felt strangely nostalgic all of a sudden. He had had better equipment back then. They had given him all they had scavenged, but most of those tools were long broken by now. And he couldn't exactly fix a tool if the others were broken too. Still, the darkness comforted him. This kind was different, it was thick and heavy, it curled around him and seemed to even move now and then. There was an entirely different personality to it, it didn't belong to him. This was the purest darkness of all. And it didn't take kindly to people that underestimated it.  
  
His hand found its way to the helmet he had repaired a few minutes ago and gently rubbed the surface and insides to see if there was something he had missed. Regrettably, he wasn't able to also paint it in its original colours, the feeling of chipped paint made him somewhat sad. He loved what he did and it wouldn't be satisfying for him to know that this helmet would probably not be restored to its full and original glory. His senses were sharp, so extremely sharp that it was almost otherworldly, he could feel and interact with his surroundings in ways that no other could. But that didn't change the fact that his eyes were still blind. He hadn't seen the light of the sun even once, he had only felt it. No colours, no light, no faces nor shades. Just darkness. And even though one might have thought of that as cruel, he liked it. It was his friend. This ship was his friend. But it was a friend that liked to challenge him too. Carelessness always meant death.  
Or worse.  
  
“It's not finished yet, my Lord.”, he said with a humming undertone. He hadn't heard the door open, but he knew someone was here. The darkness told him that someone was staring at him through eyes that saw perfectly fine in here.  
“It still needs some fresh paint.”  
“You know I don't care much about that.“  
“Then I'm indeed finished.” It had been difficult to adjust to this new work, the armor and weapons he now had to fix had been more complex and difficult to understand at first, but he had grown into it. He had always been a quick learner. And his unusual abilities compensated for his lack of vision.  
Heavy steps announced his visitor stepping closer. He dared to call him that in his thoughts, at least. Deep down, he still waited for a different one. He liked his work, but he didn't like working for this man. It was not the one that had carried him under his arm and that bothered him. He'd much rather serve that one, the one that had involuntarily shown this much need towards his abilities as a servant.  
  
“You did well.” The corners of his mouth raised at that, only slightly, but still notably. Such words where scarce here, although he had the suspicion that he had heard them more often than anyone else this far. At least when it came to the human servants.  
“I think it's about time I reward you for something.” That on the other hand... That was new, he hadn't heard that before. A reward? For what? He hadn't done something special, although he also didn't know what would be deserving of a reward in the first place.  
“I'll grant you one thing, choose wisely.”  
“Anything will do, my Lord.” He didn't really know how to interpret this order and it took him a great amount of composure to answer at all. This was not what he was used to, he hadn't even known that that was a thing for his kind. For the first time in his life, he was absolutely clueless and unsure of what to do.  
  
“Don't disrespect me like that. I've asked you a question and I want an answer.”  
“I-it wasn't my intention to...“ It took him a bit to get his breathing rhythm back on track. Everyone had that one thing that gave away their emotional distress. Some fiddled with the rim of their clothing, others broke eye contact or started sweating. As for him, he tended to hyperventilate rather quickly. Sometimes he thought that some higher power had wished him a particularly bad time by giving him such a trait.  
“I would like...” His hand searched the working bench next to him and finally, his fingers found a leftover sealing ring. At least that was the place where he had left one.  
“This. Would that be sufficient?”, he added, unsure if that was how these things usually went down.  
“If that is what you want, then you can have it.” Relief, so much relief! He nodded eagerly, putting the sealing ring into his pocket immediately. He'd probably use it next time he needed to repair something. But what if his Lord would ask him where it went one night? Or worse, demanding to see it, even? No, he couldn't afford to do that! Perhaps it was time to empty a box and put it in there so that it wouldn't get mixed up with the other parts and materials by accident.  
Little did he know that more of these moments would follow this one, way too many for his tastes.  
  
And every time, he went for the approach that had proven itself to be effective. He didn't open the box much, it felt alien to him that he even had it to begin with. And every time his fingers found the carving on top of the metal lid, they started to tremble a bit. That was what he was supposed to do with rewards, right? Keep them. They had their own box, their own safe space where they would be treasured. He still hadn't figured out if that was how it went down, even after all these months. His inner clock was still working, it was one of the things he was good at, despite his disadvantages. But eventually, even those would reach their limits.  
Should he ask someone about how it was done? No, they would snitch on him and he didn't like that thought very much.  But what else was there, what other options did he have?  
  
“I've been wondering what you do with all those little things you now have.” A bit startled, he looked up again, although it didn't make any sense for him to do so. But by  now, it was a trained reflex. Every time he faced the ground or turned his head, he was in danger of having his chin grabbed and roughly redirected. Eye contact or not, he still had to be respectful. He _had_ to, he needed to.  
“Do you want to see them, my Lord?”, he asked immediately, somewhat proud of himself that he hadn't used any of the items in question, but rather stashed them away in a separate place. Over time, he had switched to broken parts, things that did not have any use at all, so that he wouldn't end up missing material. Just like the little, broken cog he had chosen this time.  
“You keep them all in a separate box, don't you?” He nodded lightly, although it only occurred to him a split second later that his Lord knew. And that the box had probably been opened a couple of times before, by hands that were a lot bigger than his.  
  
“Perhaps it was a misjudgment on my side to let you decide in the first place.” He nodded again. It was obvious why, even he himself could not agree more. But at least he had given his best shot at something he knew nothing about.  
“I apologize for not being sufficient enough.”, he said with a slight bow. After all, too many failures would decrease his usefulness and, ultimately, his value.  
“This task is giving me problems, so if you think this decision is not suited for me, I will oblige.”  
“What would you do if you'd run out of random things?”  
“There is always something that is broken, my Lord. As I experienced, nothing inside this ship isn't broken.” He smiled lightly, although this was probably the worst possible situation to do so. Even though nothing happened in response, he still felt like it had been inappropriate. Unprofessional. And highly life-threatening too. His thoughts were interrupted by a dark, sardonic chuckle.  
“If even a mortal like you notices, then we're close to rock bottom.”  
“Do you need anything else repaired, my Lord? Are we on a schedule?” The sound of shifting fabric. Air? The other was probably shaking his head, indicating a No.  
  
“The rest is cleaning up down on the surface. No need to waste time with that anymore.”  
“Understood.” That meant his work was done for now, until he'd be called for something else.  
“You've not been eating regularly.” He froze. What had given him away? Had he become slimmer over the last month? Or perhaps he hadn't thrown away one or two of the open nutrition boxes and they still were somewhere in this room! It was not like their content could start to decay in any matter, it was synthetic food to begin with, but they rarely tasted like anything and had so many chemicals inside that they couldn't even rot.  
“I don't like suspicious behavior, you know that.”  
“Yes, Lord-”  
“Then why are you endorsing it?”  
“I...” He swallowed hard. There was breath on his face, the other was close. Close enough to just end a life here and now. And no one would care all that much. He was important, yes, but not untouchable.  
“I have turned 29 today. So I-”  
“That's what you been saving up for? Just to eat a little more tonight?” He nodded. It was surprising that the clock inside his mind still worked, but he had a good feeling for his surroundings most of the time, even in space. Although a few more weeks and he'd probably lose all sense of time anyway, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
“That is correct, my Lord...“  
“Go then. Eat.” Somehow, the tension between them faded, slowly, but it did. Good. Apparently he had just dodged a bullet. He nodded in relief and took a few steps back to make sure he wouldn't bump into anything – or anyone. It didn't take him long to get to the mattress he slept on, it had been dragged in here for convenience so that he could sleep in the back of the room. And he was somewhat thankful for that, a lot could happen in these hallways outside, even when your route was short.  
Upon sitting down, he ran his hands down the narrow space between the mattress an the wall to find the box he had stashed away. Together with the fresh one he had already almost tripped over, he'd have a fulfilling dinner for once. Although it wouldn't taste like much.  
And then another moment of piercing awareness, when the footsteps he heard didn't head for the door, but for him instead. Hadn't he been allowed to eat? On the other hand, that did not mean that the other was obligated to leave, that was true.  
  
“Is there something else you require, my Lord?”  
“Because I am still here?”  
“Well... Yes. I thought you had better-” He bit his tongue. Traps, traps everywhere, behind every word. That was how it usually went down, the game they had played from the very beginning when he had begun to serve this man. If it even was a man, from the things he had heard down here. There were many things that could sound like a man, but were in fact something else.  
“I didn't expect your stay, that is what I was trying to say. After all, of what interest am I to you?”  
“That has yet to show.” His head raised a little, automatically. That was new. To think that he was of any interest in general surprised him, usually, he found much comfort in being just a servant. It meant he could do things without being bothered. It meant no one would ask him about his opinion on things or other, equally complicated and stressful, questions. And he was not sure what to make of this newly revealed detail.  
“If it does not bother you all too much, I'd like to eat now.” His Lord had grown silent and he interpreted that as confirmation that he was indeed allowed to start eating. Was he still there to begin with? Even with his advanced senses, he could not tell if the other had left or if he came in sometimes. It was strange. Usually, someone so big should be easy to spot, especially when it was dead silent in the room.  
  
He started with the artificial flesh first, the only food inside the nutrition boxes that was actually solid and not some mush. It was almost frustrating how easy it was to cut it. There was basically no resistance when he swiped a fork across it in order to know how big it was and then severed a rather small piece. The eating itself was well-practiced by now, he knew how long the fork was and how he was supposed to motion his hand in order to not hit himself in the face with the food. Nevertheless, he made sure it touched his lips first before he actually put it into his mouth. Just so that he knew where it was for sure. He ate in silence. Besides his own breathing, he could hear nothing. Why was that, someone should have been there. He was certain that his Lord was still there, standing in front of him. Watching. Or perhaps not watching at all? Who knew.  
The mush didn't give him any problems, a spoon was easier for him than a fork. It was round and felt nicer in his mouth than a fork. A fork was pointy, if he'd miss or gave in to an accidental case of clumsiness, he'd stab something. Although he didn't get to enjoy this pleasant feeling for long, mainly because as soon as he had unscrewed a water bottle to take a sip, the spoon was gone. He had put it down for just a moment, but now, there was nothing where he had left it.  
  
“Could I perhaps ask you something, my Lord?”  
“What?” So he still had company. Figured. After all, there had been no footsteps that had indicated the contrary.  
“Since you are the one with functioning eyes, would you know where I put the spoon?”  
“I would.” It was strange how calm the voice was at all times. Sarcastic, cold and unamused, but still calm. And not at all uninterested at certain times. Yet, this short answer was all he got to work with.  
“Could you perhaps show me where it is then?”  
“I could.” Again. Perhaps it was all he was ever going to get, there was a certain sadism to it that he knew this place was fond of. Not just the people inhabiting it, the whole ship was drenched in it. It wasn't kind to the weak, but he knew that despite his impaired vision, he was everything but weak. After all, he had managed to survive this long, that counted for something. But for now, he had to get his head back into the game he had to play with his superior every time they met. Every time they talked, even if it was just for a moment. A game that never stopped, since there was no difference nor border between his private life and servant-ship. There never had been to begin with and it calmed him down.  
  
“You would not ask for anything, am I correct?”  
“What exactly are you referring to, my Lord? Because right now, I am under the impression that I already asked for a thing two times.“  
“And I answered.” He nodded lightly. Why was it needed for simple things to be complicated sometimes? Sure, he did not question them openly, but he couldn't help but wonder at occasions like these.  
“Indeed you did, my Lord. But I would lie if I said that that was what I had been aiming for.”  
“None of us get what they want in here.”  
“That is also true, I suppose. Although there is always a way to get something from someone else.”  That earned him a dark chuckle. Of course, it was how they all lived in here, scavenging and repairing what they could. Even if it meant to take from another, even if it meant taking a life for that. One less mouth to feed. And speaking of feeding a mouth...  
“Tell me what you'd like to trade for the spoon.”  
“Half of your meal.” He nodded. Not a fair trade, but as fair as it would get. There was no point in arguing or disobeying anyway, he had learned that very early in his life.  
  
“Although you've saved up just for this day? In order to get a spoon.”  
“I am trading half my meal I saved up just for this day in order to have you give me the spoon.”, he corrected the other. He knew how these things worked by now, everything was a trap. If he wouldn't specify something explicitly in a trade-off, he would be scammed mercilessly. Such was the way of this ship, this legion, even.  
“I see then. Very well, I accept that.” The scraping of metal against the plastic of the nutrition cartons told him that his meal was now divided into two sections. And although he did not know how big they were or if they were even close to being handled fair, he did not object. If he wasn't given a chance, then there was no way to tell.  
“Which one is yours, the right or the left one?”  
“The half that is bigger.”  
“They're exactly the same size.”  
“The one that is bigger, still.” Perhaps it was even something as subtle as not even having a left and right half and it was actually up and down. There were lots of things one had to be careful about when talking to one of those men. Every little step could meet a strategically placed tripwire.  
  
“Fine.”  
“I-” There was no time for him to get out another word upon having the spoon shoved into his mouth all of a sudden, he almost choked on it for a second.  
“You didn't specify where to put it.” That made sense. So he had been deserving of this little reminder, that was good. It would help him to be on his guard a little more next time. In the end, only practice made perfect.  
“Next time I'll-” Again, a spoonful of whatever that meal was made of was shoved into his mouth, but at least he didn't choke on it this time.  
“And you also didn't specify when to give it back.” That was also true. He should have been more careful.  
“I hope I have not disappointed you, Lord.”  
“Next time, I'll expect more from you.” Another spoonful. Was that somehow... entertaining in a way? He dared thinking about how this could be remotely fun to such a man, if he enjoyed it, even. Moreover, were they able to enjoy something at all? And what would happen if he'd be called out?  
He decided to bite the spoon next. Not angrily, but experimental. It was worth a try, perhaps his Lord would actually let go, perhaps he would catch _him_ off guard for once. Then again, that was most unlikely, after all, he was but a worker. There was nothing he could catch such a man by surprise with and he should not have tried in the first place. Strange, how a thought could change one's behavior so rapidly.  
  
“Don't do that. I don't care if I rip out your teeth and you know that.” He nodded, sighing a little. The message was as clear as ever, although he still didn't know what this was about. Not to mention that some movements indicated all too clearly that the spoon was way too small for the fingers that held it. In a way it felt strange to him to be fed, he couldn't remember ever being fed, that was why he was so skilled with eating in the first place. His parents hadn't lived in the palace, he had been educated by his superiors, yet they hadn't bothered with things such as feeding him as a child. So why now, had life decided that there were things that needed to be rectified? And why with such a man – if he even was a man. Sometimes, it was hard to tell.  
  
“One could think you're not content with this.” Oh no. Should he say something? Then again, what could be said in order to not sound assuming or accusing in a way? If he'd flat out ask his Lord about it, then that would most likely be met with coldness and deprivation of what he had just praised. They weren't nice people, telling them that they were insulted them. Being nice and having emotions was a human thing and they were far beyond what anyone would call human. Attributing such things to them would make them feel degraded and most of all disrespected. So even if he was to ask if this was some kind of present to him, he'd not get far with that, perhaps it would even bring him disadvantages. No, it was much better to not assume, he had only been getting presents once or twice, from a woman that had worked with him for a few years. They had been a couple for a bit, but after the castle had burned down the first time, he had not met her again. Perhaps she was dead, perhaps not, he didn't know. And it was not his job to worry about such things. His work was his life now, meaning all personal things would be pushed out of the way, if necessary.  
  
“Are you thinking?”  
“My purpose is not to think, it's to be of service.”, he replied with a light smile. He didn't dare say or do anything more than that. It was always thin ice he walked on, no matter how calm the situation seemed to an outsider.  
“That is true. But one doesn't simply stop thinking.”  
“I strive to keep it to myself at all times, unless I am ordered not to.”  
“Then I demand it.” He took a deep breath, which probably amused the other way more than it should have. It always amused them when humans were stressed. It reminded them that they had abandoned such unworthy problems a long time ago.  
“I think...” It was strange to say such words, although they should come naturally, since he had been ordered to do a thing. It was how it should be, entirely in his form of routine. Yet, this was something he could not really work with, his opinions had greatly suffered due to not being allowed to grow for such a long time.  
  
“I think that this is very strange. By all means, I do not wish to disrespect. But I think there are things too trivial for your presence, Lord.”  
“Are you implying I'm wasting my time?”  
“I did not say that, nor did I mean it, my Lord. My opinion is irrelevant, one way or another.” They didn't need reasons to do something, they did it because they could. That was the only thing that provoked them to do something very unlikely for their kind. Something that they could use to demonstrate how big the difference between them was, something that demonstrated dominance. Or something that was so stressful that he'd start to hyperventilate. In the beginning, he had done that quite often, their presence was so otherworldly that it had made his body freeze in its movements every time he encountered them. They could smell fear. He knew that all too well.  
“Everything about you except the work you do is irrelevant.”  
“That is true.” He sighed again, almost silently, but in relief. That was how he preferred things to be, simple and uncomplicated. Easy. It was how it was supposed to be and how it had always been, a routine that gave him security and support.  
For a moment, he thought about saying something, but silence was as good as anything else. After all, he did not direct the conversation, so all he could do was react accordingly. And although he hadn't thought that that would have counted as provoking in any way, his hand was grabbed before it could reach the box between them.  
  
He had felt those fingers around his wrist and throat about three times in his life now. And it was something he had been trying to avoid at all costs, since their grip was merciless and way tighter than it should have been. And this time was not different from the previous ones.  
“My Lord, I would like to remind you that I mostly see with those.”, he said in a fragile attempt to somehow avert something terrible. Nevertheless, he kept still for the time being, hoping that there was something else to this than what he thought it would be. And surprisingly, there was. Only that it was equally severe.  
A thumb pushed itself between the knuckles of his index and middle finger, digging in painfully deep before moving to the next space. Every time it did, he felt his bones spreading up to the point where he thought his muscles would rip. Fingers trailed across his open palm, burrowing their tips in between the bones with surgical precision. This time, he actually tried to pull back and gain some distance.  
  
They didn't know how to touch mortals, he had noticed that before. And just like back then, his efforts were met with more force. If his hand would be broken, he wouldn't be able to work for a whole while, he couldn't risk that. But trying to relax in such a situation wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do, although he did feel an unsettling calm for some strange reason.  
“I forgot about that.” A late comment on his statement, yet it seemed to be an honest one. It sounded genuine, which was quite a surprise in this environment.  
“Then perhaps-” His whole arm tried to recoil in horror when his fingers met cold skin, although he managed to contract them fast enough in order to not touch all too much. As much as he had tried to collect himself, this one thing threw him out of it all too violently. Immediately, his breathing staggered and turned into short, sudden bursts, barely able to keep up a natural rhythm. He couldn't, he _wouldn't_! How would he ever be able to live with himself, knowing that he touched someone this carelessly, one of these men nonetheless? No, such a disrespectful gesture was not to be tolerated, he couldn't forgive himself for doing such a thing, even if it was involuntarily.  
  
“No? Not even a glimpse of the person you serve with your life?“  
“I'm... not supposed... to do... that...!”, he panted, still trying to back off with no success.  
“ _Please_...!”  
“Haven't heard that word from you in a long time. Not like this at least.” He shouldn't have said that, he really should not have said that. That word was like a trigger for all the wrong things, but his momentary lack of focus had made him act in the moment. It had made him act without thinking first. Slowly, but steadily, his breathing normalized itself again and his calm returned. He would need it for whatever would come next, for whatever sadistic notion had been triggered by such a simple word.  
“Are you demanding that I let you go?”  
“I w-wasn't implying-”  
“Are you _begging_ me to let you go?” He resisted the urge to bite his lip. It had been just that, but every sign of embarrassment would give him away. It would tell exactly how scared he had been, adding up on top of the shocked expression he had probably shown already.  
  
“No.”, he replied with all the calm he could get together on the first try. Still, his voice was shaking a little. There was nothing much that could get him out of this situation besides talk. Various people had lost various limbs on occasions like these, he had to be careful.  
“But I'd rather not touch you in such a demeaning manner, Sire.”  
“And what if I'd allow it?”  
“For what reason?” Strange. Perhaps the surprise had been visible on his face, but it was an honest question. These men didn't need a reason to be cruel or heartless, however, this was different. This was a positive gesture of some sort. And those mostly had their own, selfish reasons behind them. Otherwise, there would be no point in doing something that would benefit another person.  
  
“I do not owe you justification. You're worth as much as the armor you're repairing, but individual armor can be replaced with other parts. And so can you.”  
“I am aware of that, my Lord.” He had been a fool to even utter a slight bit of curiosity right there, those things didn't pay off. It wasn't his job to know, it was his purpose to repair things and make sure they worked. Such people shouldn't be curious, he didn't know what he had been thinking. But the words had just come out of his mouth like that, he hadn't meant to say them out loud!  
“Then you want to see, I presume.”  
“If you want me to, then yes.” It seemed like the other was slightly upset that his only outburst of curiosity had been inquiring about the reason for something trivial, rather than whom he served. Could they even be upset? He didn't know if they had emotions to begin with, other than being displeased, pragmatic, sarcastic or angry. He had been given plenty of examples for those, thousands of them, but an emotion other than that? Did they feel something like happiness or joy or was that just not a thing with them?  
  
Nevertheless, he expanded his fingers again, confident in the order he had been given. Orders made things less stressful, they reduced the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty in his stomach and gave him clear instructions. He couldn't do wrong if he followed orders, he could only be not efficient enough.  
Like the time before, the skin he touched felt cold, but strangely smooth too. At least in the place his fingers had met it first, the moment he went a few centimeters to the side, the texture changed rapidly. He couldn't exactly tell what it was, but he knew what dead tissue felt like. And this one was long dead, most likely an old scar. Something that stretched across the majority of the face he carefully inspected.  
… Face? His fingers flinched a bit, wanting to retreat immediately, but the hand around his own thought otherwise. Why did it have to be the face, why did it _have_ to be the face, of all things? Something less intimate would have made him feel way less stressed. A servant was not allowed to touch their king's face, there was hardly anything more disrespectful than that!  
“Not the face, huh? Very well then.” Sometimes, he thought that his Lord could read his thoughts, but he had debunked that theory a long time ago. If that had been the case, he would probably not be alive anymore. And besides that, he hadn't felt anything. There was a distinctive feelings to getting one's brain poked a couple of times, he knew exactly what that was like. But here, he had never felt it. Not yet, anyways.  
  
“I'm sorry to disappoint.”  
“It makes you consistent, at least. One would know what to expect from you and your consistency gives you order. It's collected and sorted, isn't it?”  
“It is indeed, my Lord.”  
“Then how about I take that away for a moment?”  
“How long would a moment be in your opinion?” He didn't like where this was going, he didn't like it one bit. There was something coming, something that wouldn't be able to be resolved by him trying to talk himself out of it. This was different from all the times where they had played this game before, it felt more alien, more unnatural. As if it was something completely new where it should have been familiar to him by now.  
“That depends on how long this will take me.”  
“My Lord?”  
“It has been a long time since you've been this scared of me. Me as a person is not a problem to you, you've been serving so many, it hardly matters for you. You don't care about their personalities, their traits and what they do, as long as you can be of use. Pragmatism. But it's different when they interact with you like this, isn't it?“ He felt the fingers around his hand tighten their grip again all of a sudden. It startled him, yet he knew he should probably not try to pull back anymore. Otherwise his hand may end up broken by accident.  
  
“This is out of your comfort zone, it unsettles you.”  
“I could think of... nicer things, my Lord.”, he agreed, trying to somehow interpret the situation correctly. It had always been hard to read the bodiless voice that talked to him, but now, the difficulty had spiked immensely. In the back of his mind, he noticed that this was probably how they talked to their victims. This was how they talked when they interrogated people. It was not a good voice to hear at any point in someone's life. At least hearing nothing indicated a swift death, but talking... That meant they had something in store for you.  
“Intriguing.” Just when he had been about to explain himself, he felt another hand, on his shoulder this time. Its grip was about as friendly as the one around his hand, but at least he didn't need his shoulder in order to see. Technically, at least. And while he was forced backwards, against the wall behind his mattress, he gave in to the omnipresent instincts most any human experienced in this situation. He started to think about major events in his life, about his one and only relationship with that maid back in the palace, about how her skin had felt and what her laugh had sounded like. He thought about the enjoyment he had felt when he had first started to work on a bigger repairing job and the time he had had his first meal alone. And how all of them had led him to this very point, where everything would come to an abrupt end of some sort. As far as his preference went, he would prefer a broken neck.  
  
“Are you... most positive... that I outlived my usefulness?”, he panted, a sad attempt to not fall into hyperventilation again. His Lord had often told him that the first minutes of death were the most stressful, while the moments were more of a calm and composed nature, but he had never known what that was supposed to be like. Though at the moment, he couldn't think of a more fitting description, even if he'd try.  
  
“I don't recall saying that.” He froze. They were close to each other, closer than he had initially thought. Perhaps he could slip out of the grip that held him at the right moment, although that would most likely lead to an even sooner death. If he'd just try to stay calm, then maybe, just maybe he'd remain of no interest and not emotionally scarred. Although he reckoned it was already too late for the latter.  
“Your breathing betrays your fake calm. Did you think that would fool me into losing interest? I know you fear me, one way or another, but you gave me a hard time finding out why and how.” His mind didn't exactly register what had been said at first, it had slowed down to the level where self preservation was the most important priority. But when it did, there was a whole new night of horrors opening up to him. This was a game to them. They fed on fear, it didn't matter whom feared them, as long as someone did. And if one would not, they would try their hardest to enforce it. If he wouldn't give in to these feelings, he'd be put through more until he'd react in a way, things would escalate. Perhaps he'd even be put through physical pain. He didn't like pain much, the only thing he could deal with appropriately was emotional pain. Those feelings he had pushed back a long time ago, they didn't bother him all too much anymore. But he also didn't want to die.  
  
“It is hard... to not... fear one of you- Sir.”, he added rather quickly, although it seemingly earned him the freedom of his shoulder and hand. Luckily, it was fine, it merely hurt a little upon bending the fingers again. And the second he had thanked some entity for his release, he realized that he had traded a bad situation for a worse one when the same hands grabbed the sides of his chest. They easily almost fit around it, he had never noticed how big those men truly were.  
“If you ate a little more, this wouldn't be so easy for me.” A thumb trailed across one of his ribs. Even with his clothes in the way, it didn't seem to be a problem to pinpoint them exactly.  
  
“If you move around too much, I'll break one of those, how about that?”  
“Seems... fair.” That was all he could say, it was all that was logical to say at this point. Agreement usually settled an argument much quicker. And now that his breathing was restrained more than usual, he actually found back to a natural, much less stressed rhythm.  
“How does it feel being in here, in the dark? Having your home burn to the ground so often? Everything you ever loved is dead.”  
“What... are you...” For a moment, he went limb in the other's grip. The initial moments before death had passed and now, he was at the point where only shock remained. Only the slight trembling of his body might have been an indication on what his inner workings looked like at this very moment.  
  
“How does it feel to know that we killed everyone inside that palace? How does it feel to know that you're all alone now?” He didn't answer, desperately trying to fix the cracks those words left in his calm. There was nothing more he could say, nothing more he could do. That was it. Nothing more to hold up the fragile calm he had tried to build up until it amounted to something he could work with again. It didn't even take more than five seconds for it to break down, he didn't even notice how the first tears streamed down his face until he heard himself weeping. He didn't like grief, nor was he a friend of all the other things that accompanied it, but he had built up so much over time, that it had only taken a slight push to break him down. A slight bit of change in his routine, a tiny variation of how his Lord had acted towards him.  
  
All that had been enough to push him over the edge just like that and he continued to weep while those hands held him. And even after they had long disappeared into the darkness of this ship, together with their owner.

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the Night Lords Novels for this.
> 
> Suggestions, praise and comments are very welcome to this individual right here and it hereby expresses its desire for your opinion, dear reader!


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